Trying

I discovered this self-portrait when downloading pictures off the camera.

He even remembered to smile.

Jude generally calls Luke "Baby Luke" though he also uses "Buddy" and "Sweetie."  He often holds his hand like this and says, "It's okay, Baby Luke.  I'm here, Baby Luke. I'll take care of you."

The kid wakes up trying.  He puts on his clothes, pours his own cereal and beverages (including milk out of a gallon container) and sets the table.  He is the foreman on a variety of household jobs: watering the plant in his room, spraying his brother's diapers with pre-treater, putting soap in the dishwasher and the washing machine and pressing the "s.t.a.r.t." button while declaring it reads, "go!"  He uses the microwave and toaster oven. He packs his own bag when leaving the house, putting random toys and books in it and then failing to ever open it as the outside world is far more interesting than simple little objects.  He tries a variety of things that you probably don't allow your kids to do. And I wouldn't either.  But the harder thing than letting him "help" me light candles is watching him fight with every ounce of his sturdy toddler build to try.  He's trying. And that's what makes him, well, trying.  Some days it's hard on a mama.  And then there's the moments where he needs to tell me something that's so very important: He looks me square in the face, his eyes as wide as saucers, his voice a whisper.  And then I remember: he's not even three years old yet, just two. TWO. He's been on this planet such a short time and he's trying so hard to figure it out.

My neighbor watched him the other evening and commented  "He's not two, he's five."  He's really more like 45.  Throughout the day he tells me what he is going to do when he is a grown-up: wear sunglasses, eat peanuts, have Baby Eli in his belly.  (He's still confused as to what happened with "Eli" as we mentioned that as a baby name before Luke was born.)  He tells me that he is going to fly airplanes when he is a grown-up and that "Mommy, you're going to miss me when I am away."  And even on the hardest of days all I can think is, you better believe it.